How Much, Baby, do we Really Need?
by Ramblepedia
Summary: Kurt and Blaine had always known they wanted kids. Right after they started talking about their future together they'd started in to talking about that distant someday when they would be fathers. Together. But there is always a day when 'someday' becomes 'now.'
1. Prologue: Father's Day 2017

As soon as I saw the finale I knew I had to explore this storyline further. Rachel is Klaine's surrogate. It's gorgeous. There is, of course, a million ways that could have gone (did she donate her eggs or did they use someone else's? how long were they thinking about it before they decided to go with surrogacy and how did Rachel come to be the lady they went with?). Mine is just one potential path that just generally feels good and right to me and I hope you enjoy this tale I'm about to weave over the next couple of months.

Also since I'm writing this as I go I have some polls for my readers to be revealed as they become relevant in the story:  
1\. Should the baby be boy, girl, or intersex?  
2\. Should Kurt or Blaine be the genetic father? (whether or not they know whose it is - which father should the baby get their genes from?)  
3\. BABY NAMES GUYS GIVE ME ALL YOUR IDEAS

* * *

Surprise visiting Mr...Will (Kurt would never get used to that, not ever) on father's day had been a good idea. Emma had just had twins last fall and giving the two of them a couple of hours had easily been the very best gift that any of his students had given him to date. Also Kurt couldn't get the twins out of his head. One had been curled up in his dad's arms guzzling away at their trainee sippy cup. His dad looked just like he did in some of those old pictures, back when Kurt was a baby, with this sort of prideful glow because he was the one that this baby needed right in this very moment. He only got to raise one kid though. Kurt. And they had had quite a beautiful journey together. Burt deserved the chance to have that again, even if he was just, say, the grandpa.

The thing that lingered longer, though, was the other baby. In Blaine's arms. As they danced about. As Blaine tried to copy a routine Daniel had 'made up.' Truth be told it looked an awful lot like a clumsy version of some of the routines that Kurt was so deeply familiar with. That was when he'd seen it. The gleam in Blaine's eyes. The two kids. It was their future. With red hair. That part was pretty impossible because their odds of producing red hair were practically zero. But everything else looked exactly like everything he wanted.

"Meet your new baby girl!" the TV blared.

"Emily!" the woman sobbed. Kurt wanted to wrinkle his nose at the name but he couldn't. There were tears in his eyes.

This was his one a.m. guilty pleasure. Baby shows. Documentaries, long running tv series (except 20-whatever kids and counting - he refused to support anyone who would advocate so strongly against LGBT rights). Reruns. Movies. Look Who's Talking and Too had become a tiny bit of a guilty pleasure. But not the ones with the talking dogs. That one just lost sight of everything that made him cry in the first two movies.

Blaine knew nothing. Or if he did know he didn't say anything. Usually Kurt watched it when he was home and Blaine wasn't. But they were both in Lima still, ready to dedicate the next day to spoiling Burt Hummel some more. And maybe paying a visit to Mr. Anderson if only to say hello. Kurt was trying to be a good son-in-law but Mr. Anderson didn't even want to acknowledge their marriage. As he put it, it wasn't that he didn't like Kurt and it wasn't that he wasn't ok with his son being gay and with a man. It was that two men just should not get married. Hopefully he'd come around before the two had kids. Kurt knew Blaine wanted him in their lives.

"I didn't know this show was still on the air," his father spoke beside him. He hadn't even noticed the man approaching.

"Oh yeah, I guess it is," he said as he reached for the remote control. There was no pretending he hadn't been set on this channel. The control was well out of his reach from his position. Even with all the stretching he did there was no hope for him. His body wasn't built to reach that thing without putting his feet down. Burt picked it up for him.

"How new is this hobby?"

"What hobby?" Burt motioned to the television.

"And don't get smart with me. I know you too well and I'm not nearly as dumb as people think I am."

"...I don't know. I caught an episode of that new show about the parents with septuplets...about six months ago. It was interesting."

"This isn't that show."

"I know." Burt sunk down on the couch with him. "I sort of started watching a lot of other shows like these. They're everywhere."

"I guess. If you look for them."

"...Yeah." They watched as the family took little Emily - a premie baby - home for the first time. Everything, so they said, was different with a premie baby. "Wasn't I premature?"

"Only about...almost two weeks? Not like that kid. With you it's entirely possible we just got your due date wrong and you were actually really close to being on time. You were just a bit small. Didn't cry much. Slept more than we thought you would. The doctor said that was just because you were probably so exhausted. Its hard being a baby. You have to fuss all the time and be spoiled constantly-" He laughed as Kurt gave him a gentle shove. "Have you given any thought to your own?"

"My own what?"

"Baby." There it was. Out in the open for them both to digest. Burt didn't even realize what he was suggesting until it had come out of his mouth. His son - his one and only child - was old enough and secure enough in a marriage to be thinking about children.

Man did he feel old.

"Dad…"

"Yes Kurt?"

"I...Ok I have. I mean, we have enough money and we're really stable in our careers. I'm pretty sure almost no one our age can boast that. We're great. I never, ever, thought that I'd be doing this well as a performer. Let alone me and my husband both being this successful. But there's so many reasons why its not a good idea to be thinking about this right now."

"Like?"

"Like...we always rush into things. We said I love you within what two months? We got engaged before Blaine had even graduated from high school!"

"And that turned out so badly."

"Well...at first it did…"

"But what about now?" Kurt let himself fall into silence before his father could trap him in even more logic. That didn't stop Burt of course. "What you two did was a bit crazy and I could have warned you that at least one of you would panic, committing to something so grown up at such a young age. But when you actually got married things really started working out, didn't they?"

"Suddenly all those fights were a lot easier to manage. They weren't a sign of doomsday, they were a sign that we were meshing our lives together and that all our dreams were coming true."

"Mmhm. So, yes, you rush into things and yes you don't always think things through, and babies aren't something to rush in to. But I know for a fact that a man in your position can't just accidentally become a father. So what, even if you're younger than most people like you-"

"Gay men?"

"Yes, among other things. Your whole generation is having babies older now too, right? Maybe it just means that you are ready. It might be a bit crazy. That doesn't mean you two can't handle it."

"...Were you ready?"

"Well, Kurt. I was younger than you are now when you were born. I had just gotten my hands on a broken down old building that I was going to turn into a car shop. We didn't have any money, I'd spent all my savings on my business dream, and we barely had a stable roof over our heads. So...no."

"And I turned out just fine."

"More than fine. I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks Dad." They both let out a deep sigh. The kind that Kurt had just grown up sighing, just like his father, perhaps because that was how his father sighed. He wanted that. A little child who grew up with some of his subtleties. Who grew up with some of Blaine's subtleties. A mish-mash of them. A human being all its own that they had raised into the son or daughter that they were proud of. That amazed them the way his father seemed to be amazed by him every single day.

"You should talk to him."

"Hm?"

"Blaine. You should talk to him."

"About what?"

"Kids."

"We do talk!"

"About someday how you're going to have two kids and it's going to be lovely, right? You decided on your married name because you wanted your kids to share your last name. Kurt. If you could see yourself right now...someday seems like it could be a lot sooner than some distant unknown day. It could be...a couple of months from now. Or, a year from now more likely." The young man opened his mouth to deny it but he couldn't. He was twenty-four years old. Most people his age were just starting to get started with their lives and here he was with every inch of his body bubbling at the idea of cradling his new born baby soon.

"But what if he's not ready."

"Then he's not ready. But you won't know that until you talk to him."

"...I'll think about it." A yawn escaped him. Burt wrapped an arm around him to squeeze his shoulders. "I love you Dad. I think I'm going to go back to bed."

"I love you too. Goodnight." As the father decided to stay up and see how Emily's tale ended, Kurt crawled himself up the stairs and back to his wonderfully warm and waiting husband. Blaine tried to pretend he was asleep but Kurt knew better. He scooted in behind and wrapped his arm and leg over the man.

"Have you been awake since I left?" His husband let out a sigh before rolling over to face him.

"Yes but don't blame yourself. I always wake up when you get up. Its instinct. You're my personal alarm clock."

"Usually you fall back asleep though."

"Usually it's morning back home and I don't have to be up for another two hours." Blaine gave him a light kiss. "I can't sleep in strange beds without you."

"If this bed is strange then who was I sleeping with in high school."

"You know what I mean. It's not _our_ bed." The bed they'd bought together to fit in with the style of their new apartment. Their marital bed. The bed that had only ever seen them as two husbands who would fight through anything so that they could still be together at the end of each day.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Their lips pulled together like desperate magnets to metal. Soft, sweet, gentle. Like they always belonged together and even though they were still stable entities when they were apart the connection was one that needed to be made. It was more than they could ever have asked for. And as they kissed, all Kurt could think about was how wonderful it would be to have their child nestled in between them as they read him (or her) stories until she (or he) fell asleep. Safe and warm between their two daddies.

Burt was right.

**Kurt Anderson-Hummel wanted a baby.**


	2. Today is Where Your Book Begins

Here's the poll questions again (I'll keep reposting them until they're each revealed in the story):  
1\. Should the baby be boy, girl, or intersex?  
2\. Should Kurt or Blaine be the genetic father? (whether or not they know whose it is - which father should the baby resemble?)  
3\. BABY NAMES GUYS GIVE ME ALL YOUR IDEAS

* * *

NYC, city of wonder and dreams and everything the Anderson-Hummel men could have ever wanted when they were children, couldn't quite handle them sometimes. And that was ok. Most people in the world didn't constantly carry a song deep in their hearts so powerful that it sometimes just needed to burst out unexpectedly. Despite living in a world immersed in music and musicals people were content to keep their musical moments to singing in the shower or in their cars. Not so with the former New Directions. All of them were apt to break out in song at random. None, however, as much as Kurt and Blaine. They just loved performing duets.

Kurt had started it. He hummed out the familiar guitar notes as the bait while his fingers tangled between those of the man he loved during their after-lunch stroll through their city.

Blaine bit.

"Imagine me and you - I do.  
I think about you day and night.  
It's only right.  
To think about the man you love,  
And hold him tight -  
So happy together."

Kurt tried not to giggle as Blaine reached his free hand over to pinch at his shoulder. People were looking at them. Not that such things were going to stop them. If he was actually concerned about people watching them then he never would have started singing. It was all in good fun.

"If I should call you up (call you up),  
Invest a dime,  
And say you belong to me  
And ease my mind.  
Imagine how the world could be,  
So very fine -"

He stole a quick kiss before Kurt joined in singing the words. They lost their guitar beat but that was the price they had to pay when they didn't have a full acapella choir backing them up. A couple of pedestrians out with their boyfriends paused to point and tease the men about the romantic things they could be doing.

"So happy together.  
I can't see me loving nobody but you  
For all my life.  
When you're with me,  
Baby the skies will be blue  
For all my life!"

Kurt dared to spin around to face Blaine - and walk backwards so he could look right into his husband's eyes. Said husband grabbed both his arms to steer him safely around several passersby. Or, rather, people that they were passing by. Blaine ducked them safely around everything. Kurt just let him lead the way.

"Me and you  
And you and me,  
No matter how they tossed the dice,  
It had to be.  
The only one for me is you,  
And you for me.  
So happy together."

They were definitely too much for New York City. There were some - mostly ladies, honestly - who were enamored with the two men waltzing their way down the avenue as though there were actual drums and trumpets sounding out around them. Truly waltzing now. Though Kurt was still letting Blaine lead. They switched depending on their moods and today he was in the mood to just trust that Blaine could handle guiding them through the crowds while they sang in beautiful union.

"I can't see me loving nobody but you  
For all my life.  
When you're with me, baby,  
The skies will be blue for all my life."

Always one to be theatrical, Kurt hopped up on the nearest available bench to serenade his man. Blaine countered him by putting a knee on the bench and kneeling as though he was proposing all over again.

"Me and you,  
And you and me.  
No matter how they tossed the dice,  
It had to be.  
The only one for me is you  
And you for me."

Kurt tangled his fingers up in Blaine's beautiful curls. The motion silenced his love. Though perhaps the way the sun dared to frame Kurt's cheeks and create a glowing silhouette had something to do with his breath being stolen away from him. "So happy together," Kurt sang proudly.

It was true. There was a reason he picked songs like these to sing with his man. Yes they still bickered from time to time. It was still a struggle in many ways for them to mesh their once very independent lives together even after three years. But the struggle wasn't scary anymore. He wasn't afraid that one day they'd wake up and not be able to remember why they got married anymore.

That was the truth of love. It wasn't everything fitting perfectly and effortlessly together. It was deciding to take on all the work of being with someone and still wanting to wake up every morning in their arms. Or with them in his. He could have had any number of men - there were definitely plenty of phone numbers passed to him when they performed - but he didn't want them. They weren't the ones who were worth his efforts.

As he spun Blaine around the sidewalk during their ba-ba-ba-baa two man acapella version of the interlude, he was as sure of them as he was every day since they got married. That old honeymoon phase had long passed. It gave him confidence that they could handle kids. Of course they'd get short with each other sometimes. But they would work for their love and at the end of the day after they'd put their munchkin to bed they would embrace (usually) and fall asleep together, so happy just to be together.

Blaine's beautiful tenor cut through his fantasies.

"Me and you,  
And you and me.  
No matter how they tossed the dice,  
It had to be.  
The only one for me is you -  
And you for me.  
So happy together."

"So happy together," Kurt echoed back.

"How is the weather? So happy together."

"We're happy together."

"So happy together," they sighed into each other as they finally wound down. "So happy together." The pedestrians hurried to make themselves scarce before something else strange happened. Except for their adoring audience. Those girls clapped and cheered and wiped tears from their eyes before they had to move on about their own days. "So happy together." Blaine laid a tender kiss on his husband.

"That was wonderfully spontaneous," he whispered.

"I was really feeling like we needed a nice summer duet," Kurt replied, his breath ghosting over Blaine's cheek.

"I loved it."

The great thing about being theater and high society famous was that they weren't famous in a way that made day to day life impossible. As Blaine's fingers linked through Kurt's and pressed into the soft skin on the back of his hand they could be sure that no one would be posting their beautiful moment all over websites claiming they were stars behaving...weirdly, at best. Now there was however the possibility that they would become the next big hit video that the internet went gaga over. That could make it difficult to walk near any group of teenagers for a little while.

While being just famous in specific circles wasn't something Rachel enjoyed about their chosen profession, it was just right for Kurt and Blaine. They could blend in or stand out when they chose to. For the most part. They, of course, couldn't complain about the who's-who of NYC knowing (and sometimes asking for) them by name.

Out here on the streets though they were just two married men. Who were breaking out into song. Oh well.

Just as they were about to get on their way again, Kurt caught sight of something that stopped him dead in his tracks.

The store was one they'd passed several times since it had opened a few months ago. They just hadn't been paying much attention to it because it was, well, a baby store and they didn't (yet) have any babies. Blaine had mentioned that it looked cute and if it survived until they had kids they would have to shop there. And that had been that. The whole conversation about it.

Their father's day display was still up. It wasn't the usual 'look dad can take care of a baby too' kind of display either. Right there, filling the window's entire backdrop, was a full size picture of two men. One with an arm around a toddler, the other with a baby secure in the crook of his arm, and both of them holding each other with such a fondness that made Kurt believe they were a real happy family. The kind that he could have someday soon. Against his better judgement he felt his hand let go of Blaine so he could press both palms up against the glass in the same way his future child might.

"Wow" Blaine sighed over his shoulder. "That's so beautiful."

"Really beautiful," he replied.

"Look! That jacket says I love my daddies."

"I heart my daddies, but yeah." He let himself sink back against Blaine. There were some urges deep inside begging for him to go buy it. But as time went forward things like this would no doubt become more common. There would be other jackets. But they could have the first one they ever saw in a store window. Even though it wasn't practical just yet. Or ever, for all they knew. It was very possible that they wouldn't have a baby until spring and then the baby would outgrow the jacket before they even got to use it. He took a deep breath and pressed back harder against Blaine to keep himself from doing something irrational in the name of baby fashion.

"You know, when we met, that would never have been possible." Two hands wrapped around Kurt's shoulders as Blaine massaged the muscles with his thumbs. "Maybe not even here in New York."

"You know I'm surprised it's even here now. People still seem to think that men can't raise kids, not without a woman around. And I'm not sure who that's more insulting towards."

"That women must raise the children or that men absolutely can't?"

"I saw a commercial the other day where the dad was staying home for the day and they were basically implying that he was useless and the wife had to come home and save him from himself. He didn't know where the diapers were kept, he was absolutely useless in the kitchen. It's like they've never even _met_ a father."

"_Ugh_. How are we ever going to have kids if the world thinks we're incompetent?" A shiver ran straight up Kurt's spine. He moved so he could wrap his arm around Blaine and hold the man tight. "We are going to be amazing fathers someday."

"It's becoming easier too, you know."

"...to be a father?"

"No! To have kids. For us. Adoption processes are becoming easier, and...and there's more options for having our own genetic kids too. I mean it's the same basic stuff but there's more clinics, more people interested in helping. I found a whole network online that helps men with the costs. Since, you know, most insurance doesn't cover same-sex relationships as the cause for being infertile. Or whatever. Since we really have no way to tell how fertile either of us are when we're just doing what we do."

"Well, I guess we could always ask our doctor? If...that's important to you."

"No, I mean yes but that costs money and there's not really much of a reason to ask about it right now anyway right? Though it would be nice to know...for the future." He pulled away and tucked his thumbs into his pockets. It had been almost a month since he'd realized how ready he was to be a dad and he still struggled to bring it up. Things were really good for the two of them. They were happy, they were comfortable. They were practically still children.

"Right. For the future. How far in the future do you think?"

"Well...you know, it can take a while, for us. Adoption and invitro both take time. Uhm...there's some other options too, with similar success rates to invitro. And there's the whole process you have to go through either way. Finding a lady willing to give her baby to two men, hopefully willing to let us raise the kid without butting in all the time. Like I have no problem if she wants to be involved a bit but we're the parents here. We're the primary caregivers, it's our baby. Even if the baby is half genetically not related to us, that's not what's most important."

"Right. And?"

"And...that can be difficult. Just look at Quinn and Shelby. Shelby went out of her way to plant Jesse in the New Directions so she could get close to Rachel. Then she couldn't really handle meeting her. And Quinn went absolutely crazy over Beth!"

"But she's gotten over that."

"Not really. She's just doing better, especially since Shelby lets her come over a couple of times a year. I was talking to her last time she was in town and...she's still not handling it well. She wants to have another kid, one that she gets to keep, but she's so scared of it. Plus...well Puck still won't marry her so there's that problem. She's terrified she's going to end up alone and in a position where she can't raise her kid. Again. But, anyway, those are just two examples of people we know who've had a hard time letting someone else adopt their baby."

"Not everyone is like that you know."

"I know, but...we're two men. A lot of courts still have a problem with that. If the mother wanted to fight for the baby back, she probably could. I don't know. I know adoption will be really hard."

"And surrogacy?"

"Illegal, apparently, in New York. But there are still ways around that if we get someone we trust. Not Quinn. I love her really but no."

"Of course. But who?"

"We know a lot of girls. Someone's bound to be willing to help us out. But then we have to consider finding an egg somewhere, and all the costs that go along with that, then it could take multiple tries too because not every time is successful. So uh, that takes a while."

"Oh, that's right. We're planning for the future still." His voice was light, almost as though he was laughing at the idea. Blaine could see right through his husband as Kurt started to wring his hands and pace along the sidewalk's lines.

"Right. It could take a couple of years so...if we want kids, say, when we're...oh I don't know, thirty?" Thirty was supposed to be a good number to have kids at, right? "Then we should probably really start the process when we're...twenty six?"

"Twenty six huh? That's still two years away for you."

"...I know. I just. Its. A lot to think about. And very important, you know. I mean...We did pick our married name based on making sure that we would share a last name for the sake of children. Kids are really important." The young man silently cheered on his dad for coming up with those words for him.

"Absolutely." He held his hand out and Kurt readily accepted it so they could resume their walk. "So in two years, we should start the four year journey to having our first kid? Will every kid take four years do you think? That could be really annoying if we decide to have more than two. We'd be forty before the third baby even started elementary school, let alone college."

"Well it won't necessarily take four years. That was just...you know, a worse case scenario. Isn't it something like 90% of people manage to have a baby within two and a half years?"

"That's for heterosexuals who are trying to get pregnant but yes, that's a statistic I've heard of. Actually I think it was my mom who told us that. I'm not sure if it's because she forgot that two boys work differently or because she gave up on Cooper."

"He got another new girlfriend with no signs of commitment, didn't he?"

"Mmhm. I think he was really attached to that girl who moved to Korea. The one that's teaching English now?"

"I think I remember her. He actually introduced us."

"Poor Coop can't catch a break. And Mom _really_ wants grandkids."

"Do you think that means she'd help us acquire a couple?"

"Uhm…"

"I mean financially!"

"OH! Well. Next time she asks me when we're going to have kids I'll make sure to mention to her how much it costs...How much does it cost anyway?"

"Minimum of $12,000 either way, I think it is. Something in that ballpark at least." Blaine let out a whistle.

"Can we afford that right now?"

"Well I've been doing some budgeting and- Who said anything about right now?!" His husband stopped him by spinning in front and settling his hands on both of Kurt's shoulders.

"Kurt, be honest with me. Why are we talking about costs and kids today?"

"Because of the gorgeous display at that store."

"That's it? There's nothing else you want to talk to me about? Just...kids, in general? With very detailed cost maps and deciding who could possibly be a surrogate for us? You just happen to know all these things about having kids just...because?"

"I'm just curious."

"So...you're not getting at anything with all of this?"

"No!" As soon as the words slipped out of him he saw a look on Blaine's face that almost broke his heart. Disappointment. The way Blaine's lips turned down in his sad, sad frown and the way his eyes lost their bright glow. "_Yes_," he corrected. "Ok? Yes Blaine. Yes. I really, really want a baby, and I want a baby _soon_." The man started to speak but Kurt held up both of his hands and let them settle on the sides of his neck to shush him. "Before you say no, I really think we can do this. If we had someone tell us they were going to be giving us a baby, we could be ready very quickly. We'd have to give up our dance studio but we have enough money to start a family, we're secure in our careers, we're...we work really well together, you know, as husbands. And when we were babysitting Mr. Schue's kids? You were wonderful Blaine. I...I want a baby. I want to have a baby with you. I want us to have kids." How many ways were there that he could say it? "I'm just so ready for this."

His heart was pounding in his ears as Blaine stood there silently. Hands unmoving, just watching his husband closely. He was waiting to see if there was anything else Kurt was about to say. After several moments of silence had passed between them he finally took in a deep breath to put Kurt out of his very obvious misery. That was a very big confession for Blaine to just stand there like this.

"Me too," he said simply, just as his man started to speak again.

"And we-wait." Kurt let the words sink in for a moment himself. He took them in and let them digest before he took hold of Blaine's hands and held them up to his heart. "You too?"

"Me too. Lets have a baby." The smaller man almost fell backwards when his husband pounced. Their mouths crashed together like a tidal wave on the beach. Blaine was the beach, of course. He didn't mind. Kurt was bigger than he was but he was strong too. Plus the excitement was contagious anyway. He thought back on that sunny afternoon on Kurt's couch in Ohio when they'd first mentioned their fatherhood dreams to each other, less than six months into their actual relationship. They both had them. Even back then. They both knew that someday they would be daddies.

Now that was a family portrait they could actually start to put together. "Kurt?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." Another kiss.

"I really love you." The elder man let out a bubbly giggle against his cheek.

"And I really love you." He let his lips linger against Blaine's cheek as the scent of his husband filled his senses. They were going to be parents. Not in the theoretical someday but in the immediate as soon as possible sort of way. Kurt just couldn't get enough of it. "We're going to be parents."

"We are. We really are...Where do we even start?"

"Oh I might have someone who could help us with that."


	3. Now We're There and Weve Only Just Begun

Poll questions! Also I'd love people to tell me what they're thinking and how they're feeling about this. I don't usually post as I write the stories so this is a weird experience for me and I would really appreciate any feedback I can get.

1\. Should the baby be boy, girl, or intersex?  
2\. Should Kurt or Blaine be the genetic father? (whether or not they know whose it is - which father should the baby resemble?)  
3\. BABY NAMES GUYS GIVE ME ALL YOUR IDEAS

* * *

"I can't believe you won't let me tell Sam until we talk to Rachel," Blaine huffed as Kurt pulled him into their favorite coffee shop.

"I don't want to get anyone worked up before we get a plan hashed out!" Kurt replied. "I'm not telling my dad yet either you know. He's probably going to be so mad if he finds out."

"Which is why as far as they know the only reason we told Rachel first is because we just happened to be together when...how should we put it? When you asked me to have a baby? When we decided to?"

"We'll figure it out. Something clever I'm sure. Maybe we could convince Donovan to let us borrow the stage some morning and we can put on a performance to put on Facebook and send to everyone. They'll like that."

"Half of them will like it. I'm pretty sure the other half will complain that we can't say things normally."

"By the other half you mean the loudest half right?"

"Of course I mean Santana."

"She's just jealous."

"Actually I think she honestly hates us sometimes."

"But at her core she loves us."

"Of course she does. She wouldn't have shared her wedding with us if she didn't."

"Somehow I think she would have no matter what if Brittany just asked. Brittany really likes us. She sent me a card last March thanking me for being a good boyfriend."

"She sent me one thanking me for being such a good husband for her best ex boyfriend ever." Kurt couldn't help but snort. Loudly and fairly grotesquely.

His hand slapped over his nose and mouth as though that would make the offensive sound go away. Blaine didn't care of course. In his opinion his husband could make no disgusting sounds. There were natural human noises that didn't bother him because, well, they were natural. They just happened to everyone every now and then. Then there were the surprise 'gross' noises that Kurt always tried to hide away. Like when his entire laugh tried to come out all at once and he tried to suppress it and it just came out in one gloriously hideous snort.

Blaine leaned over to peck his cheek before ordering their coffees. They didn't even have to place the order anymore. They came in so often that there was always someone on staff who knew exactly what they wanted. Sometimes they even had them ready by the time they got to the counter. "We need to order something for Rachel too," he informed their cashier.

"Her usual?"

"Yes."

"Is anyone else joining you?"

"Not today, no." A little bit of a pout formed on her lip. It was well known that she had a bit of a crush on Artie. Everyone was taking bets on when she'd give him her phone number. Blaine was the most hopeless. He said it would take mere days. That was three months ago. Now every time they came in with Artie he always said 'today will be the day.' Kurt had to continuously remind him that it took them months to get together. Which was why his bets were on the exact same amount of months it took Blaine to kiss him. From the moment they met to the day they got together.

"Can we get three of those little...those things?" Kurt asked, pressing his finger to the glass directly above where they had a new treat set out. It was the latest trend in coffee house snacks and it looked positively delicious. "If it's as good as it looks it might replace cheesecake."

"You really think there's something in this world that can replace cheesecake?"

"...Not really no. But I do need to get a greater diversity of desserts on my favorites list."

"That's true. Though Cake Haven loves the challenge of making your birthday cakes."

"Oh, Cake Haven likes the challenge hm? I seem to recall how all out you went on planning the design for them. Remember when I couldn't look at your computer for weeks-"

"You thought I was looking at porn by myself. I remember. You got so mad."

"...Blaine I said I was sorry for-" His words were cut short by a kiss.

"I love you."

"_Ugh_."

"If you two are fighting again then I'm going to go get lunch with Jesse," Rachel interrupted, claiming a table for three and pulling out their chairs for them.

"We're not fighting," Kurt informed her. "Just remembering past fights."

"That weren't really fights as much as rather cute misunderstandings," Blaine added.

"Try humbling misunderstandings."

"That too."

"Ugh you two are too cute," Rachel moaned as she dropped her chin into the palm of her hand. Kurt pushed her coffee and treat across the table. She just pushed it around a bit a deep, deep pout formed across her features.

"Thank you?"

"Rachel we have something we need to talk to you about," Kurt tried to get right to the point. They wanted to get this started as soon as possible after all.

"Is it so bad that I want to be this cute with someone?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is it so bad that I want to have moments like, well like you two have. Humbling cute misunderstandings and picking out new furniture together at the flea markets and having picnics in Central Park before going home and doing dishes together. Having someone who's going to be there for you when your throat is too sore to speak or to...to sit by your hospital bed when they don't even know if you're going to wake up and still be _you_."

"What happened to Jesse?" Blaine queried, suddenly getting quite worried. "You didn't break up did you? You two almost never fight. Not that fighting is a terrible thing you guys are just so..." It would certainly be a shock if they did split.

"You act like, well, like we did in high school," Kurt explained. "Watching you is kind of like gorging on a full bucket of Halloween candy in one night and having to deal with that stomach ache that comes with it."

Of course he loved looking back at their adorable history. Whenever they pulled out their old photos and remembered each of those little moments - the surprise picnics, the kisses stolen when they thought no one was looking in the halls of Dalton, and every single thing they did to show affection when they couldn't even hold hands at McKinley - it was magical. But they had also grown past that. They'd grown up and entered a world where there was nothing stopping them from holding hands. Sure every time he felt the pressure of Blaine's fingers between his own he fell in love all over again but it wasn't the same. It was something he could have every day whenever he wanted it and no one could tell him to stop. Every now and then he found threats against them in the blogosphere but for the most part no one cared anymore.

While the progress the LGBT-etc community had made was absolutely amazing and wonderful and he wouldn't give any of it up for a second, being so free had taken away some things too. Their love being so forbidden had made the moments when they could express it so much more tantalizing. And it had made all that sugar-sweetness necessary really. They had to cram all their affection into the moments when they could express it.

Yet Kurt would give them all up all over again so he could be where he was right now. Beside his husband, both of them safe and sound. There were always other ways they could bring suspense into their love. He liked the maturity of their relationship now too. They were grown up. Married. With kids on the way, hopefully. And of course they were still cute enough to make Rachel jealous. That was a plus. But they definitely weren't cute like Rachel and Jesse were. Those two were practically licking frosting off each other's noses every time they got a cupcake. Which they always shared. They would always be sweet on each other but their days of making people want to throw up at the sight of them were in the past.

"We _are_," Rachel sighed out, making sure to draw out the 'are' as though it was the most tragic thing in her life.

"And this is a bad thing?" Blaine asked.

"No, I guess. But it feels so...you know, like we aren't going anywhere. We're cute like high school but we aren't _in_ high school anymore. I'm going to be twenty four soon. Half of my friends are married-"

"Half of your friends got married on the same day."

"You know what I mean! Quinn and Puck could spontaneously get married at any second, I'm pretty sure some of the kids we were mentoring are getting married soon-"

"Jane and Mason?"

"Yes! They're going to get married before _me_!"

"Do you realize, among the students, they'll have the first heterosexual New Directions wedding?" Kurt asked lightly. "That or maybe Marley and...which boy is she with now? Yeah definitely not Marley. _Maybe_ Kitty and Roderick could spontaneously elope. I'm really betting on those two-" His husband elbowed him to alert him to Rachel's glare. This was clearly too big of a deal for lighthearted banter.

"Kurt. Blaine. This is a very serious problem."

"...That there's a heterosexual wedding?"

"Jesse and I have far more history than they do. Hell we have more history than you and Blaine!" The smaller husband stopped trying to save Kurt from his best friend. She crossed the line and he wasn't going to hold the bite back. Rachel was going to have to fend for herself now.

"Oh yes, _history_. Like transferring to McKinley only to leave mere days before regionals and of course, of course, who can forget how romantic it was when he led the charge to throwing eggs at you. I especially liked the part where you practically begged him not to but he broke one on your head anyway. Beautiful history there Rachel. So romantic. I'm sure you can play that video for all our kids at the New Directions reunions and they'll all say they want to marry a man who treats them like _that_."

"There was video?"

"I'm pretty sure it's still on YouTube. Especially that last part when he broke that egg over your head? It's so clear that you two were meant to be."

"And you haven't done horrible things to each other over the years? HM?! Or do we need to talk about that! About the cheating and the breaking up for no real reason and-"

"Ok stop it!" Blaine jumped in. "We've all learned from the past, none of us are the same as we were even a couple of years ago, we've all overcome our mistakes now, and Jesse has been a pretty great guy these last two years. Since I didn't know him during the whole egg incident I can't compare but...he's been really nice, and respectful, and helpful. And he really cares about you now. Just like Kurt and I care for each other, I think. Which includes messing up sometimes. But its worth it to overcome those things. Alright?" With a huff Rachel leaned back in her seat and crossed her legs at the knee. Kurt bit back commentary on how she used to behave in high school despite the eerily familiar position she was taking. It was 'Rachel's about to storm out', just without the storming out.

With a sip at his coffee he returned the conversation to where it had been. "Why do you think things aren't going anywhere?" he said instead of the scathingly angry things he wanted to send her way.

"He just doesn't...Ok so it's probably my fault. When we first came back to New York I told him I didn't want anything really serious just yet because, you know, I felt bad with the whole Sam thing and I was still really having a hard time adjusting to the idea of moving on because Finn...he…"

"I know."

"Ok, so, I made it very clear that I didn't want to move too fast but now it's like we're moving too slow! I want to get married while I can still have kids. I want _kids_. I mean not for a while but, you know, someday."

"Speaking of kids," Blaine tried. "Someday is coming up pretty fast for some people." Rachel completely ignored him.

"He seems really ready to move forward too. Like...oh! The other day. We saw an apartment for sale and we talked about how nice it would be if we got it together. Its that one right by Mercedes' New York apartment, remember that? But I don't just want to move in with him."

"What do you want then?" Kurt replied. "Because moving in is a really big forward step you know. And then when you move in together for the last time, that's the biggest deal." He knew that the sooner they got through Rachel's problems the sooner they could get to their reason for meeting.

"I want...I want to marry him ok!" She jumped out of the way as Blaine coughed up the coffee he'd been sipping at. "I know, it's spontaneous but I really want to. Or at least, I don't know, get engaged. Before we move in together. I want to know that this is the real deal. I want to know that I'm moving in with him because he's _the_ one and not just because the apartment was pretty but we couldn't afford it separately."

"Ok _we_ could afford that apartment on half of one of our salaries, I know you can afford it."

"That's so sweet," Blaine sighed out, completely skipping over his husband's practicality. Kurt reached over to massage at his shoulder. He loved how romantic his husband could get, but of course someone had to be practical about this.

Granted he didn't want to be practical. He sort of wanted Rachel to get married before the kids did too. It was only fair. Plus it was his chance to really go all out planning a wedding and they could guarantee that there would be doves. Actually it was probably safe to assume that doves were going to be a tradition for all New Directions weddings going forward as long as he was invited. It was weird thinking that there were going to be New Directions who didn't know him as a close friend though. There was a whole new generation in the school again and he was just a sometimes visitor.

"You do realize that apartment is for _sale_, not rent, and it's probably three times as expensive as it used to be because of Mercedes."

"Wait. You want to buy an apartment with Jesse? Are you sure that's where your relationship is at?" he asked sensibly. He and Blaine hadn't bought an apartment yet but that was more because they were absolutely in love with the place they were renting.

Though he wouldn't mind talking to their landlord about what it'd cost to make it theirs forever.

"Not entirely," Rachel confessed. "But...I...I really want to marry him. I haven't felt this way about, well, anyone in years. Not since Finn proposed. And I knew that I wanted to marry him and then...I didn't, and I regret that. I know not marrying him was the _smart_ thing to do but...Think about it like...if you two hadn't gotten back together. It would be the greatest regret of your lives, right?" Both men nodded as their hands intertwined on the table. "That's what not marrying Finn is for me. I knew that we'd get back together just like everyone knew you two would get married eventually and...then...then he wasn't there." She couldn't say that he'd died. It had been four years and she still couldn't say it. As though avoiding the words would bring him back somehow.

"Jesse isn't going to replace Finn."

"I know! That's something I've dealt with. I don't love Jesse as a back-up Finn, but for who he is on his own terms. And I want to be with him. And I think I'm _ready_ to be with him." As Blaine's hand curled tighter around his in an effort to get him to stop being cynical, Kurt surprised them all.

"Then go for it."

"...Go for it?"

"Rachel. It took my dad eight years to be able to meet people and not look at them as a 'replacement' for Mom but for someone he could love for who they are as their own person. When he could love Carole like that, well that's when he knew he was really, really ready to be with someone again. And Mom, and Finn too, they wouldn't want us to force ourselves to be alone for the rest of our lives and never let anyone else in like that. At least, I'm pretty sure they'd want us to move on if we found someone worth loving. I...I know I would." He glanced over to Blaine. They knew that his genetics weren't the best. Cancer ran in both sides of the family. There was a very real possibility that Blaine would outlive him, potentially by a lot. So, naturally, this was something he at least had given a lot of thought to.

"Kurt-" Blaine tried but his husband just kissed his cheek.

"Get the most out of what you have while you're here, and while they're here. That's all you can do. Live while you have life. _Trust_ me on that Rachel. I've lived so close to death my whole life. Mom, Dad's heart attack, his cancer, Finn, then when I was in the hospital? And that's just the people I'm close to. That doesn't count when Dave tried to...or all those old relatives that I didn't even know but had to go to their funerals anyway. Trust me on this. You...if you're at this point, then you're ready to move on. And that's ok. And you and Jesse, you seem ready to at least try to take this step. Just...just like Blaine and I are ready to take our family to the next level. So we all need to go for it."

After such a poignant speech, it was no surprise that Blaine and Rachel were both wiping tears from their eyes. Blaine scooted his chair closer so he could wrap his arms completely around the man he loved. He was definitely going to enjoy this while he had it. They were going to give their lives their all.

Their friend sniffed a little to prevent her crying from getting ugly before smoothing herself out and returning to her topic of the day.

"I have no idea how to get him to propose."

"Why do you need to wait for him?" Despite Blaine being the super romantic husband, Kurt had his own adorable quirks. Hence the doves and constant duets whether there was a piano around for them to drape themselves over or not. He just kind of paled a little in comparison to Blaine sometimes since he wasn't nearly so showy with his romancing. Or big, or loud.

"Because he's supposed to propose?"

"Why?"

"Because...uhm." Her eyes trailed between them. "Uh."

"Because he's the man?" She couldn't even save herself from that one because that was exactly what she was about to say. Kurt pulled Blaine's hand up to kiss it in apology before he let go and leaned across the table. "Tell me, does that mean Blaine's the 'man' in our relationship?"

"No! It's different with you two. You're both guys. Someone had to propose-"

"What about when Santana proposed to Britt? Is she the man in their relationship?"

"NO! That's...no! Someone had to say it first, for both of you. I mean there's always the off chance that two people will magically plan to propose on the same day and just do it at the same time but that doesn't happen very often. We all know that you would have proposed to Blaine eventually."

"Well you are right about that. I definitely wasn't thinking about doing it before he _graduated_-" Kurt gave his husband a tiny playful poke. "But that was on my list of things to do after he moved to New York."

"See? It's different."

"Rachel," Blaine intervened. "You're right. Someone has to say it first. And it's 2017. It's totally fine if you're the someone who goes first."

"Isn't it emasculating though?" She held her hands up as soon as Kurt started to straighten his back. This was one fight she did not want to get into with him, especially because she remembered when her dads got married in the mid 2000s in Canada. Despite the show tunes it had very much been a man sort of wedding. "Not for _you_ guys, but for a straight guy. It's supposed to be his job to propose. Won't people make fun of him? He's a really big up and coming director; if people found out I proposed then they could really rip into him."

"If he can't handle a few bullies then maybe he's not the best match for you," Kurt grumbled. "At least not yet. Remember when people used to make fun of Finn just for being my friend? And remember when...uhm, well, one time they were going to beat me up, Gaga week? When he dressed-"

"In that red costume."

"To prove to everyone that they didn't matter. What mattered was that he knew we were friends, he knew who he was, and he knew whose opinions did matter. The opinions of the people who loved him."

"I thought we agreed that Jesse isn't Finn."

"He's not. That's just an example. I could use Puck too. When he stopped throwing me in dumpsters and started watching my back? I know people laughed at him too. Behind his back. Because, well, we all know no one laughs at Puck to his face. Rachel, you deserve someone who isn't going to be ashamed of something like being proposed to. After everything we've been through, we're bigger than letting a few haters get to us. You know, I could have gotten upset by how people reacted to Blaine's proposal - you remember some of the guys at NYADA laughing about it-"

"People laughed?" Blaine started.

"It didn't matter. I'm still a man. I don't need their approval to be a man. Neither does Jesse."

"I'd still feel a lot better if you guys hinted at it or something," Rachel pleaded.

"After you were so nice about our engagement just now?"

"Kurt! You know I didn't mean-"

"We're not doing it."

"Maybe we should help her," Blaine interjected.

"I want to be a bride's man as much as you but we can't do this. Rachel if you think you're ready to marry him then you need to talk about it with him. If you don't want to propose, fine, but at least be the one to talk to him about it. Marriage is a very, very big deal. Believe me. You don't want someone else nudging him. I mean, you can talk to other people about it that's fine but if you want to marry him you have to be the one to bring it up. If you can't do that then, well...you really aren't ready."

"I'm ready," Rachel jumped. "I just don't want to mess this up." Kurt reached over and squeezed her hands.

"Blaine?"

"Hm?" he let out.

"You're the one person here who actually initiated the path to marriage with to someone. Do you have any advice?"

"Oh! Uhm. Well. It's terrifying." Rachel's nails dug into Kurt's hands.

"You're not helping."

"It's true though. I was _petrified_ that I was going to scare you off but I knew deep inside that I had to marry you. I always knew that. I love you." Without letting go of Rachel, Kurt leaned over to kiss his husband. Their friend let out another little sigh at the affections.

"I'm so happy that we're together," Kurt all but purred against his lips. Rachel gave his hands a yank. Both men let out sighs of their own to express their disapproval. The actress merely gave them her infamous pout that signaled it was time for her to be the center of their attention again.

"You know for saying its a big deal you two sure got married on the fly," she grumbled.

"...Well we were talking about our future together for four years before we got married. We kind of started out knowing where things were going. That helps."

"I remember the plan. Married by _thirty_ with a future with two kids. What were their names?"

"Hepburn and Tracy. Or did you mean little Feta?"

"Little what?"

"The celebrity baby name."

"Ohhh right. Fettuccini Alfredo. I think Alf is a better nickname than Feta but whatever."

"As fun as those names are I don't think I like any of those names anymore, not for our actual baby." Kurt glanced over to his husband with the hope that he felt the same way. They hadn't talked about baby names in a while. Not unless they came across something interesting and then it was just a 'that's an interesting name.' Never a 'we need to write that down and remember it because that is our new baby name.'

"I still kind of like Hepburn," Blaine murmured.

"And not Tracy?"

"Mmm yeah, I think I'm pretty much over Tracy. I mean, Tracy Anderson just kind of steals all the attention away from anyone whose name is well, very similar."

"We'll have to start looking into names again won't we?"

"And actually get serious about some of them."

"Should we make lists?"

"We definitely need to start making lists. Don't want to be ill-prepared. Do you think we'll get to pick the name though?"

"Depends on how we get our baby."

"Look at you, you're even planning your baby names," Rachel groaned again not quite catching on to what they were hinting at. "I know Jesse wants kids. He loves the idea of putting our very talented genes together to make a super star that's even better than me. Seriously our child would be absolute perfection. Not to mention they'd have two amazing god-daddies too. See all the things you can look forward too if you help me get engaged?"

"Rachel," Kurt jumped in. "We're not going to talk to him about this for you."

"Yeah I know. It didn't hurt to try."

"Look, I get it, it's hard. It's really hard to go against societal norms. Especially when your entire life isn't built around breaking them. I know you have two dads but you yourself aren't really that unconventional. Just a bit loud and there is no 'stop' button when you're talking. It's going to be tough, yes, but Rachel, I promise. If you want to get married then it will mean so much more and be so much more real for him if it comes from you. And yes it's scary and yes, you might wind up not being completely ready, who is? It's just like...like having a baby. You can feel like you're ready but you might not be and that's ok."

"Kurt are you having sec-" Blaine started to interrupt, but Kurt didn't let up.

"If you feel like its time, then maybe it is time to at least start looking into it. Maybe it is time to get serious and get engaged. Or start looking at your options for having kids. Get your name out there on the lists and see if there's any mothers who would like to pick you or any surrogates willing to carry your kid for you. It won't happen overnight. It's just getting started. And then when you're there with your new baby-"

"Kurt what are you talking about," Rachel cut him off successfully. "I really don't see how having a baby and getting engaged are the same thing."

"They are though! They're so much alike. Scary because you can never really be absolutely sure that you're ready and so what if we're a bit young, we've overcome a lot for our young ages and we got married young and look at us now. We can do this."

"You're not talking about me anymore are you?"

"No," Blaine clarified. "He's not." Her face lit up with recognition as she started to put all the pieces together.

"Ok, please say it so I don't look like an idiot. What are you talking about."

"Rachel. Kurt and I have decided that its time for us to have a baby."

Slowly she reached out her hands to cup them over her friends' hands on the table. Her thumbs slowly brushed over their knuckles as she processed it. "Not that I want to be a nay-sayer but...Are you _sure_?"

"Yes." The smaller man didn't even hesitate. He was always so sure of everything between the two of them. In the other chair, Kurt had made his entire dessert disappear before she even finished her sentence. Her opinion was vital to him.

"Blaine I don't doubt that you would be great fathers, really, you're amazing and any kid would be lucky to call you Dad. Or Papa, or whatever you choose. But...you just graduated last year. Kurt you're just two years out. Trust me, I want you to have kids but are you sure that this is the best time?"

"You were just talking about Jesse wanting kids, and you wanting kids with him."

"Yeah. _After_ I've won my first Tony and I can guarantee that kid has a very secure college savings fund. Our careers are just taking off and I know June has you guys very set and you're shoo-ins for the leads in that new play at the Lincoln Center but...Are you sure you can handle a baby right now?"

"Well it won't be right away Rachel, we have to go through the whole process, fill out all the forms, find a mother who either picks us for adoption or is willing to be our no-strings-attached surrogate-"

"No strings attached? Blaine. Please don't do that. I know from personal experience that the child is going to get curious. They're going to want to know something if not who their genetic mother was then at least who carried them. And if you adopt they'll want to know everything they can about the people who gave them up! It's not that they don't love you it's just...a curiosity. They won't want to replace you but they will want to know everything they can about where they came from. I know I did. And when I was babysitting Beth last month she was asking all kinds of questions about where her daddy was, who her daddy was, why she didn't look like Shelby, and she's so confused about the whole mom versus birth mother thing. We just want to know."

"Well, for one we don't want to have any incidences like Shelby had with Quinn. In our case, courts would probably take our kid away really fast if the mother found a judge that was even the least bit conservative. We can't take that kind of risk. And we love Quinn but...teenagers can be a bit...well, I mean, we were all teenagers once we know how we were. Kids these days aren't that much different."

"But you can't expect to just cut the mother out entirely. Make sure it's someone that you can work out a deal with, let them visit for birthdays or something. Even if she doesn't want to know what's going on or be attached to the child, let her know that she can always ask how things are going. You don't want your baby go have to go behind your backs to learn about where she came from. I mean. Where the baby...Well you know what I mean. I love my dads. So so so much. But there's some things that kids just want to know."

"This is why we came to you first," Kurt said with his softest voice as he reached his fork over to prod at Blaine's dessert. His husband willingly relinquished the treat in the name of love.

"...Wait. You haven't told anyone else?"

"No. Well, Dad kind of encouraged me to talk to Blaine because he knows how badly I want kids-"

"You didn't tell me that," Blaine whispered. Kurt just patted his shoulder as a promise to explain later.

"But I haven't told him that we decided it was time yet. You're the first one. Because we really want your help with this. We want to do everything right...I want to be as good a father as mine is. And, well the only people we know who've had experience with this is you, your dads, Shelby, and Beth. And of those you're the only one we're actually close to and can have a real but comfortable conversation with about this."

"Not to mention Beth is still too young to really be very helpful and I can't remember the last time your dads visited and had a normal conversation."

"No usually they're too busy 'accidentally' visiting on the same day then spending the entire time avoiding each other," Rachel grumbled. "What about Quinn though? She had to give up Beth. I really think you can talk to her about this too."

"She's on our list to talk to...eventually."

"Guys-"

"I know!" Kurt sighed. "I just...We love her, we do. But I know she's still hurting from having to give up Beth. She'll always be struggling with that. That's why she's not on our list of people to ask to be surrogates."

"She's going to be really upset when she finds that out."

"We talked about it years ago. When she was willing to donate her eggs to us. She might still be, but that's something else we'll have to think about a lot harder before we make our final decision. It can be really costly to take someone's eggs and put them in another person and we know she can't be our surrogate. Since we'll also have to pay all the medical bills for whoever actually carries the baby."

"...That is a lot isn't it." Rachel fell quiet for a minute. Just long enough to have the men squirming in their seats. Then she smiled at them. "Ok, I've decided. I'm going to help you out."

"Wait I thought you were against this."

"I'm against the idea of cutting the birth mom out of the baby's life. Otherwise, if you think its time for a baby then I'm certainly not going to tell you no." A little squeal escaped from her. "My best friends are going to be daddies! How can I not be excited about that? Am I allowed to tell anyone?"

"We'd kind of like to spread the news ourselves," Blaine told her.

"Ok, ok, I understand...I can tell Jesse though right? Hm I wonder if that'll give him any ideas…"

"Unless you intend for him to get ideas about babies-"

"Well I told him no babies before I'm married. So if he wants kids then he's going to have to put a ring on it. Do you think it'll be enough?"

"No you definitely need to talk to him about what you actually want with him right now," Kurt replied. Rachel let out a growling sigh.

"Ok, fine. I'll talk to him...should I talk to him before or after I tell him you guys are...having a baby or adopting a baby or...acquiring a baby?"

"Please don't put it like that," Blaine begged. "That makes it sound like we're going to go steal someone's child. And of course depending on who you ask that's exactly what we're doing. So don't feed them things to taunt us with ok?"

"Ok then what _am_ I supposed to say? Are you going with surrogacy?"

"We're not sure yet. We uhm, we were thinking about talking to some adoption agencies about that option, and...we have no idea how to even begin with the surrogate thing. I guess find someone willing to carry our baby? Er, or should that be a later step."

"Well, first you need to find out about the laws. Like, in Ohio, my dads had to sort of adopt me anyway, and even then it was just one of my dads for the longest time, until they got married. And Shelby had to sign away all her rights of course. It was like a closed adoption. Which was made easier because one of my dads was the genetic father. Relative adoptions are easier, I think. At least it worked for them. But then they always had a lot of money so...I guess...they could have done anything. How much do you have?"

"...Uhm, well, after figuring out everything, and if we make some sacrifices on having the latest fashion trends and cut back on the hair gel a bit-" The last part made Blaine grimace a bit.

"We can put aside a pretty good amount, I think," Kurt clarified, if only vaguely. "Especially if we both get this show at the Lincoln Center. I mean we can't pay out countless times but if we get the right match, we can do this. And spoil our kid like your dads spoiled you. Because we're going to give our kids more than we had. I know, it's going to be hard. My Dad was amazing at raising me. We have a really high bar to reach. But that's every parent's dream, isn't it? To give their kid more than they had?" He felt Blaine's arm curling around his waist.

"You're going to be amazing," Rachel said. "And I'm going to help you in any way that I can. Just tell me what I need to do."

"If you could be the surrogate that'd be amazing."

"Uhm, I really appreciate you asking but, sorry...no."

"Hey, it didn't hurt to try, right?" All three had a good laugh until Rachel started tearing up again. "Oh hey, hey, what's wrong!"

"I'm just so happy. You're going to be parents!"

"Ok come here," Blaine demanded. "Come and hug it out."

Drawing attention was the last of their concerns. The patrons of the coffee house glanced up as they formed a love huddle but otherwise went on with their days. That was one of the reasons they came here almost every day.

"I almost don't want to go to rehearsal today," she confessed. "I'd rather just stay here and talk babies with you guys." Almost immediately Rachel stepped back as her phone alerted her to the time. "Of course I'd never actually miss rehearsal."

"Of course not."

"So. I have to go. But before I do, promise me that I'm going to be the god-mommy."

"Absolutely," Kurt agreed. "Though ahh, is it ok if Sam's the god-daddy? Since we're a lot closer with him than Jesse. Plus if anything happened to us then our kid would go to McKinley and, well, I never thought I'd be saying this but I rather like that option."

"Ok we're definitely going to talk about that little snafu later. I have to go, I'll call you when I'm out. Keep me updated with everything as you go through this I want to help you out in any way I can."

"And you keep us updated with this engagement stuff," Blaine demanded.

"Don't worry you'll be the first bride's anythings I tell, I swear. See you!" With that, Rachel Berry left the building.

"Do you think she's going to talk to him?"

"Mmm, knowing Rachel...Yes. I'm more interested to see if she makes him take her last name or if they do what we did. Because I'm pretty sure there is no way she's going to take his. Berry St. James does stand out though don't you think?"

"I'm pretty partial to Anderson-Hummel myself."

The empty dessert plates were stacked neatly at the center of the table before the two men stood to leave the cafe. Blaine didn't hesitate to take hold of his husband's hand though he did linger for a moment.

"Is something wrong?" Kurt asked.

"No, nothing. It's just...now that we've told Rachel, there's no going back is there? We're really going to do this."

"Did you...not want to?"

"No. I mean yes? I mean, I do." Carefully Blaine wrapped an arm around his man to pull him close for a kiss. A passionate but chaste kiss. "It just seems so surreal. This is actually happening."

"It really is. We're really doing this."

"When are we going to start telling people?"

"Uhm, well I'd prefer to tell them in person so...how about at the alumni festival in September?"

"Ah yes, the alumni festival. When we get to go back and let all the new students marvel at how amazing we are and be complete rockstars for a few days." As the two headed out into the summer afternoon he glanced over Kurt's left hand. The ring was so perfect. How Sue Sylvester had gotten their sizes right he didn't want to know. Though he had some suspicions that she'd wrestled at least Kurt's size out of Sam during that whole hypnosis fiasco. Since Sam had helped him get that engagement ring. "Did people really laugh?"

"Did who laugh at what?"

"When I proposed. Did people really laugh at you?"

"Uhm, well. Ok so yes a few people thought it was amusing I guess. They didn't mean any harm though. They just thought it was cute, some people made some comments about how I'm the more effeminate man and...it was a bit upsetting, sure, but they didn't bother me. A lot of the ones that talked like that will never know what it's like to be in my place. Even the not straight guys, really. Any of them saying they refuse to be proposed to are really missing out. Though sometimes I do wish I could go back and give you something in return. I mean, I knew what you were doing. If I wasn't so scared I'd say no I would have bought a ring too."

"You thought you'd say no!"

"_Blaine_ you were in high school! I'm happy with how things turned out but back then, I was terrified."

"Are you still scared?"

"No. If I was I wouldn't want to have a baby with you now would I?"

"I suppose not. We couldn't very well expect to beat out Burt Hummel as best dad ever if we weren't extremely secure with each other."

"Exactly."

A yellow warbler passed over their heads, twittering its song. Kurt felt a grin forming on his face whether he wanted to or not. He could feel another song coming on.


	4. The Journey Never Ends

Sorry its a bit late. I had papers due then my beta was busy with work. But at long last (or, rather, a week's last) I bring you chapter 4 n.n

Continuing Poll:  
1\. Should the baby be boy, girl, or intersex?  
2\. Should Kurt or Blaine be the genetic father? (whether or not they know whose it is - which father should the baby resemble?)  
3\. BABY NAMES GUYS GIVE ME ALL YOUR IDEAS

* * *

Burt didn't mind driving his son and son-in-law around when they were in Lima. Kurt had sold his car when he was 18 and, well, never looked back. He hadn't really needed to. NYC was built in such a way that made cars, well, more of a hassle most of the time. Plus it seemed that where the boys lived didn't have any parking anyway. Which meant he just needed wheels when he was in his smaller and more sidewalk disadvantaged Ohio hometown. What he did mind was the goofy grins and complete silence as they held hands in the backseat. They were acting like teenagers. It was just weird.

"So," he tried. "A whole week back in high school? Sounds fun."

"We're honored guests," Kurt informed him. "I think we're even supposed to teach a class or two this week."

"I think we're also supposed to take a day or two with the New Directions," Blaine mused.

"Or do we get to mentor them more individually? I know Mercedes and Santana are working with the TroubleTones...Wait does that mean Puck is working with the boys? Since we're supposed to work with the New Directions."

"Yup, Puck and Artie."

"Oh that sounds like something I have to see."

"Ok, ok guys," Burt interjected. He pulled into the somewhat redesigned McKinley parking lot. There were a lot more kids in this district than there used to be. And all of them wanted to go to McKinley. He chuckled a little as he drove up to the front door. "I feel almost like I should give you another speech like I did your first day of high school."

"Can we please not repeat that, please."

"Fiiine. But promise me that you'll embarrass your kids just as bad."

"Oh you don't have to worry about that. We'll probably both be there fussing over each of them before they go through those doors." He caught his father's gaze through the rearview mirror. "But before we start talking about a 'them' we should probably focus on the first one, huh?"

"That sounds like a plan. Any time table you're looking at?" The two men squeezed each other's hands.

"As soon as possible."

"...Now Kurt."

"Dad?" A pit rolled up in his stomach for a moment. Burt had been the one to encourage him to talk to Blaine. That wasn't a kind of thing he could take back and start going on about all the reasons he shouldn't. Kurt felt himself tensing up. Blaine must have felt it too because he pulled his husband's hand closer to his body. Then Burt dropped what he had to say.

"You realize I'm _really_ going to have to embarrass you now, right?"

"...what?"

"You can't just tell me that and not expect me to get out of this car and hug you. So come on. Out. We're hugging."

"Dad you don't-"

"_Now_. You're the one who decided to wait until we were in front of your old high school to tell me that. So you're going to have to deal with the consequences."

Look at them, it was hard to believe that seven years ago Burt had found his son in the auditorium giving a big middle finger (in the form of some song from some musicals about gypsies or something) to their entire relationship. They'd been fractured but love had seen them through.

Now there was, as soon as possible, going to be a third generation (Anderson-)Hummel to bring up and, well, this time Burt wasn't going to make the same mistakes. And he was going to help his sons from doing the same. He knew Kurt was a lot like him with a penchant to bottle things up and hide them. Someday he'd have a teenager who, by definition of their age, probably did that exact same thing. Luckily for Kurt and Blaine they had a seasoned old grandpa to be who'd dealt with all of that before.

When Blaine tried to hover near the hug, the two Hummels pulled him in. He loved it, of course. Where his own father was absent he had a husband and father-in-law who accepted him into their family with wide open arms.

"It could be a while," Kurt whispered.

"That's ok. Everyone has to go through some kind of process for getting a baby one way or another. Kids don't just show up and drop onto your laps. I'm here to help you any way I can. In the mean time you two go enjoy being honored guests or whatever this is. I have to go get all your old baby stuff out and go through it." Burt let his boys go and crawled back into his car. He had to drive away before his emotions caught up with him.

"Right now?" he heard his son call after him.

"You'll understand in twenty years."

His little baby was trying to have a baby. No one would fault him, of course, for crying a little, but he still didn't want anyone to see it. Except maybe Carole. They could curl up together and talk about how old they were now.

As for the Anderson-Hummel duo, Blaine tried to hold his husband's hand but Kurt hooked their arms together instead. It may very well have been that the school and the whole world was more friendly towards their marriage than it was when he walked these halls five years ago but the instinct to keep it subtle hadn't abated. Besides, it was just more professional. Spouses holding hands at something like this could look childish. They had to wow the children with their adult-ness today.

"There you two are!" Mr. Schue greeted them. "Everyone is late today. "

"It's not even 9:30 yet," Blaine said.

"Nine….I thought i had them put 8:30 down."

"No it said nine," Kurt echoed his husband. "By what we got, we're early."

"That...explains a lot. Ok, anyway, classes have been redesigned this week so you guys can all spend time with everyone as needed anyway, and Sam has the New Directions for another thirty minutes anyway-"

"You can do that?"

"As long as the kids are passing their tests, and they are, then yes. They're technically learning everything they need for those graduation exams so I don't see why we can't take a week to focus on the performing side of this performing arts high school. Especially since it's early enough in the year."

"Ah the glories of being able to call all the shots."

"It is nice. Go on, hurry, they're waiting in the choir room. I'm going to try to get in touch with everyone else." The two practically ran unabashedly down the halls. No one could tell them no. This was Mr. Schue's first annual alumni week (with the yearly March career information fair being so successful he'd had to expand things a bit but didn't want to repeat the activities) so everyone was figuring out what to do with it. And Kurt and Blaine had several ideas for what they wanted to try out with these kids. Like unusual duets or small group numbers since the idea still seemed to be that only people in love sang together. At least it was more evolved from 'just men and women.' Kurt couldn't wait to repeat his Victor Victoria act. Blaine had stayed up all night a few weeks back helping him make it even better than it had been before.

Their dreams went out the window fast. The twenty students who had been selected for the New Directions this year were deep in a performance of the latest top pop song of 2017 - girls were dancing with girls, boys with boys, and at the front was someone who was completely unidentifiable owning on the solo.

"I think that's Courtney," Blaine whispered. "Sam told me about them. Apparently Courtney is a chosen name and they ran into some issues registering hi...her? Them. Them. They had some issues but it's all clear now."

"It's so nice to see people being themselves openly and proudly," Kurt sighed back to him. "And to see the school supporting them? It's a dream come true." Sam caught sight of his friends and stopped in the middle of directing the kids to pounce on them. The kids didn't stop. They finished their performance with a passion and flair that could win them another National's trophy. The Anderson-Hummel men were more than happy to give them a loud standing ovation - and not just because there wasn't anywhere for them to sit. "That was amazing you guys!"

He expected smiles, thank yous perhaps. He didn't expect the familiar dark chuckles that he hadn't heard since the football team had replaced his boxers with some women's lacy underwear. Bra included. (Finn had rescued him - in secret, but then again that was a time when Finn had still been getting up the confidence to be the hero that he became.)

"Uhm, everyone have a seat," Sam said. "This is Kurt and Blaine. I know you've heard a lot of stories about these guys, they're legends here at McKinley and now they've taken a whole week out of their performance schedules to come here and pass on their knowledge. They're also my _best friends_. My junior and senior year I was even allowed to live with the Hummels - that's Kurt's family - because I wanted to stay at McKinley but my family had moved to another state. These guys are absolutely amazing and I expect you to try your hardest to learn absolutely everything you can from them this week. Understand? Now, who has any questions."

It was Courtney that raised their hand. Kurt more than eagerly pointed to allow them their chance to speak.

"What's the best flavor from the slushie machine?" The other kids broke out into giggles.

"The...best flavor?" Kurt echoed unsuspectingly.

"Yeah," a boy laughed. "Since, you know, you've tasted them all." The laughter only grew.

"I actually haven't, I didn't waste my money on those and only had a couple when someone else got them for me. Usually grape. So I guess that's the best flavor?"

"Oh, not cherry?" one of the girls practically squealed. "Since that's the one you were always wearing!"

"CLASS!" Sam barked, jumping forward before Blaine had a chance to. He knew how protective the men were of each other. His friend, however, hadn't quite figured out what was going on. Kurt had.

"What it's _true_, we've all seen it."

"How many times have I told you-things were different in 2010. The glee club wasn't popular and-"

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe that was because they weren't any good? I mean, Mr. Evans, really! You always tell us about how they'd always perform in the courtyard or the cafeteria and people would set their things on fire or throw food at them. I don't know about you but that's a clear sign that they sucked."

"Wait," Blaine said. "_Wait_. You can't honestly tell me that you guys are this full of yourselves."

"Blaine-" Kurt whispered, reaching for his husband as the man stepped towards the kids.

"When the New Directions started they had to fight not just against the other students calling them uncool or going after them for doing something they thought was gay because clearly gay was the worst possible thing you could be, right? Obviously. But it didn't stop there. They also had to deal with teachers trying to constantly destroy them, Will - Mr..._Principal_ Schuester was constantly being undermined at every turn. The school administration wanted to completely defund everything. You're honestly telling me that you think we weren't good because they-we had to overcome all that just to win the New Directions first nationals trophy? That was barely five years ago!"

"Oh please," another student drawled. "Every kid loves a good performance. If the performances were good you would have been popular in an instant."

"You. You're absolutely spoiled! I'll tell you what - me, and Kurt, and Rachel - we're all successful performers. That song you were just singing? Was from someone Mercedes helped break into the biz because she has that much power that she can do that. Every single one of us is doing far better than _any_ of you will do with that attitude. You know what? You guys aren't worth our time."

With that, Blaine stormed out. Kurt felt his skin prickling. He had never seen Blaine like that. His own mouth was, for once, sealed shut. It was like seeing the Warblers go corrupt only this wasn't because of bad leadership. Sam had a pure heart. The worst thing he'd probably be capable of would be encouraging them to be too sexy for their age group. With complete innocence, of course. "Uh, uhm, Kurt you're in charge, and you guys - if any of you give him any trouble remember I'm not afraid to kick you out even if it means dropping below the required number! You aren't the only glee club in this school."

"Oh yeah, how can we forget the Terrible Tones and the Duly _Warblers_," someone scoffed. Sam missed it. He'd already taken off after his best friend. Kurt, however, caught how everyone giggled at the Warbler name. He almost started fighting before he realized if they weren't impressed with how hard the old New Directions had worked then they definitely wouldn't have anything nice to say about an acapella boy's club that hadn't even won a Nationals trophy of any sort in well over a decade before the school was burned down.

Kurt felt his chest puffing up defensively as he stepped forward. He could handle a bunch of teens.

As for Sam, he tracked Blaine down in what used to be the locker rooms. Now they were changing rooms for all the performances that went on. The purpose was similar but the room was structured completely differently. There wasn't any punching bags anymore, unfortunately. "If you need something to punch, then uh...I actually don't know what to tell you."

"As much as I'd love to, I probably shouldn't," Blaine sighed. He let himself slide down into a soft chair. "It's not an appropriate way to take out my anger about this."

"Now is that you talking or Kurt talking…"

"Kurt doesn't mind that I box."

"But he is kinda a pacifist and punching a bag is like one step away from someone's face-"

"He knows better. I just...they're kids Sam. I shouldn't feel like punching things. Over this. How did this happen anyway? They're _awful_." His friend slowly settled down beside him.

"They're not totally terrible. Uhm, Amelia, the trans girl, she has a hard time with her parents because of their church. She's living with her aunt now, her parents think she's a boy and, well its bad. But they look out for her."

"...that doesn't excuse them from being awful to other people. For all we know, those guys that put Kurt in the hospital a few years ago were amazing brothers, or fathers. That doesn't make them any less attempted murderers. Their supposed to be our legacy Sam. They're supposed to be the best of the best, but more than that, they're supposed to...to do us proud. You know, be the kind of people that the other kids can look up to. They were making fun of us!"

"...It all started last winter. After sectionals, a couple of kids quit, said they didn't like the pressure of performing. I tried talking to them but they said they just wanted to have fun. So we helped them put together a talent show for the kids who aren't in one of the glee clubs. They did great by the way. But...one of them backed out of that too. Then transferred. That's when I realized something was up. These kids...the ones that are here, they're picking and choosing who gets into the junior varsity glee club and who gets to come up into the New Directions. But I don't have _proof_. And no one's speaking up about it."

"Then how do you know?"

"Well...ok so I don't know for sure, but it's like...like how we knew that the Warblers were cheating, but we didn't have proof yet. The pieces are there. We just need someone to speak up or to catch someone out of line. They walk around this school like they own it. And yeah, they're amazing. _Amazing_. Blaine, seriously, these kids if they get their acts together, they're going to be stars."

Blaine ran his fingers through his half-gelled hair. This was just like what happened to the Warblers. Corruption. They were morphing into Vocal Adrenaline. And from the sounds of it these kids were proud of that.

"You can't let them keep acting like this."

"I know but...I don't want to just kick them all out. They earned their spots. Well, I think they did. There's a lot of kids that didn't try out this year that I thought would. And I don't know why, at least not for sure."

"UGH I swear if my kids ever act like this! Those kids need a wake up call. Maybe...some kind of history lesson? And not the lesson about how much you guys were always bullied those first two years. Apparently that's hilarious."

The bell rang. Sam didn't even budge though Blaine darted up on instinct. "I need help. I have no idea what to do anymore."

"Well, this is the perfect week for that," Kurt's beautiful sing-song voice cut through the sound of students outside as he slipped into the changing room. "How did I know I'd find you in here?" He held his arm out for Blaine to hug him before offering his other hand to their friend.

"How did it go after we left?"

"I talked to them about producers and getting and keeping jobs and how if they piss off the wrong person then they'll literally never work in their field again. I think they took it pretty seriously. But one of them did ask if I was having a hard time getting jobs. Since being in all kinds of revolutionary productions and being a singer for high society well-to-do charity balls isn't a feasible definition of success. They have their sights set as high as Rachel. But they aren't all going to win Tonys. It'd be nice if the Tony awards could become the McKinley High graduates awards but we all know there's millions of talented kids out there and all of these guys are just as easily replaced with any of them. These kids need to be humbled before they ruin their futures. So! I propose we send out an SOS to everyone and meet up and come up with a plan. The sooner the better since we have less than five days to do this."

"Sounds like plenty of time for a lesson," Blaine told him.

"Lets get to it then!" Sam cheered, running off ahead of them.

"Did you tell him yet?" Kurt whispered.

"Uhm, I hinted at it, I think, but I don't think he picked up on it."

"Ok." He pecked his husband's cheek. "I can't wait to tell everyone. We'll have to be careful though. Rachel has a penchant for gossip that's worse than mine."

"Quite a feat!"

"I know."

"Its like they worship us _and_ the ground we walk on!" Santana declared over lunch in the auditorium. "I'm pretty sure more than a couple of the girls were upset when I said we were married."

"The boys couldn't wait for us to lay down some rock and roll on them," Puck joked.

"It's amazing how excited everyone is," Artie added.

"Which really makes you wonder what the emergency was," Quinn mused. She and Tina had been working with an acting class as opposed to the musical groups. They would all get their turns throughout the day - and the days to come.

"I bet it has something to do with the baby," Rachel said with a giggle. Then she looked to the rest of their friends.

"What baby."

"The...they didn't tell you yet?"

"Did Sam knock someone up?" Tina gasped. "I thought he was always like super safe."

"...Not Sam."

"Rachel we've already well confirmed that Lady Hummel isn't a lady," Santana sighed. "And there's no way his other half is either. His voice is too deep."

"Well they don't have a mother yet but, they're working on it. At least they told me they were. I thought they'd asked you guys. They're looking for a surrogate."

"Wait they're _what_," Quinn snapped, jumping to her feet. "Oh no no no. They are way too young for that."

"Who are too young for what?" Sam asked as he strolled in.

"Blaine and Kurt are trying to find a surrogate! They're trying to have a baby!"

"Quinn, it's their choice when they're ready to be parents," Rachel argued. "And they think-"

"They thought getting engaged when half of them was still in high school was a good idea and look how well that turned out."

"They got married didn't they?"

"It took them forever and it almost destroyed them in the process. That's fine when its just the two of them but they can't just break up with a baby. Once that baby is on its way to being theirs, they can't just back out, and _then_ decide at the last minute they still want it!"

"Oh come _on_ guys. Someone back me up here!"

"I'm with Quinn on this," Puck said. "And not just because she's my girl. People shouldn't have babies before they're like, thirty if they can help it."

"Ditto," Artie echoed.

"Just because we aren't ready to be parents doesn't mean they aren't," Rachel proclaimed. "They really want this, and it's going to take a couple of years for them to get it anyway so if they want to have babies by the time they're thirty they have to start really early and get their names on the lists with adoption agencies or surrogacy...whatever those are called. It's not like they can just go knock someone up. Unless any of us volunteer then it's easier they don't have to go through the process of getting to know someone. I mean I can't but maybe one of you girls can, or one of the other girls that joined right after we graduated. But even then they still have to find eggs, unless...any of us donate for them."

"Carrying a child, even if its not genetically yours, is a really big deal," Quinn hissed. "Trust me. I would know. And I'm the _only_ person here who does. Even when you detach yourself and know that that baby is going to another family there is something about giving birth that tears you up. And then you can't keep her. And even if it's just your eggs in someone else's body - that's a really big deal too! That's someone else carrying, giving birth to, and raising what could have been _your baby_. Do they have any idea what this could mean for the moms?"

"So, what, do you want them to never have kids?"

"No! That's not. UGH! They don't know enough. They're not ready to have babies." Rachel caught the girls nodding as well. Except for Brittany. Sweet forever innocent Brittany.

"Babies are really squishy," she said. "And they kind of remind me of Kurt. Not now but in high school. Sometimes when he smiles he looks like a big squishy baby."

"That's no reason for him to be having a baby," Santana whispered to her beloved wife. "We're more ready than they are."

"Are we having a baby? I didn't knock you up did I?"

"No Britt, you didn't knock me up."

"Did-"

"I didn't knock you up either."

"Why does Britt think she's knocked up?" Kurt cut through. "Rachel, what did you tell them."

"Uhm, well, I might have-" she started, but Quinn cut her off, stomping over to the boys and putting herself right up in their space.

"You two are so selfish! You're way too young to have kids! But if you must insist on this then just _promise_ me you won't hurt any mothers in the process." That was all she said to them before leaving out the back. She pushed right past Mercedes without a glance. Their diva friend stepped out onto the stage to survey the damage. It was her first time back to Lima in three years and while she had been expecting to make a big entrance at lunch into the loving arms of all her friends she knew better than to hold to that when it seemed she'd stepped into the middle of a scandal.

"Does this have anything to do with the emergency Kurt texted me about?" she asked. Kurt, to his credit, did turn to hug her.

"No, it has to do with our baby," he told her. "We've decided we want to have one."

"Congratulations!"

"There! Finally some support," Rachel huffed.

"...Some support for what?"

"Everyone thinks it's too soon. I for one think we should instead be focused on supporting our friends as they start a new chapter in their lives."

"Oh! Here I thought you were going to say you were their surrogate."

"Well if I'd already won a Tony then maybe but pregnant women can't really perform big dance numbers so no, no I'm not."

"Wait you'd actually consider it?" Blaine said. For the both of them. Kurt's jaw was too busy dropping to the floor to speak.

"_Maybe_. Ok? _Maybe_."

"We're really growing up," Tina sighed. "Ugh I can't believe you two are trying to have a baby and I'm not even engaged or anything." Blaine caught Artie's eye and pointed a little bit. He knew that his best girl friend was trying her hardest not to fall in love with her first boyfriend. He also knew she was failing. Artie mouthed back that he had a girlfriend. Blaine just rolled his eyes. The coffee shop girl was nice but she wasn't going to last. They all knew it.

"None of us aren't engaged," Sam placated her.

"But they've been married for three beautiful years."

"Yeah, just three years," Santana emphasized.

"Can we just focus on why we're here," Sam cut back in. "We can deal with this whole...baby fiasco later."

"Fiasco?" Blaine repeated, the hurt seeping up in his voice.

"The New Directions are the new school bullies."

"What?"

"Oh hell no."

"That's impossible!"

"It's true," Kurt told them. "They find slushies hilarious and they bully other kids so they won't even try out."

"Kick them out!" Rachel declared.

"It's not that easy," Sam rebounded. "We don't have solid proof. And...they aren't bad kids."

"Think Puck and Santana when they first signed up," Kurt offered.

"Hey!" Puck called out.

"Oh come on it's true. You were still bullying with the best of them until your mohawk got shaved."

"You know I bullied out of love."

"Love doesn't make the rotten cafeteria waste smell any more appealing."

"...yeah, I'm actually really sorry about that. Wait do these new kids throw people in dumpsters?"

"Oh god I hope not," Sam gasped. "I haven't checked."

"What are we going to do?" Tina asked.

"What we do best," Blaine told her. "Perform."


End file.
